The THREE NON's

Authors’ notes

This books subject matter was inspired from reading “A New Earth” by Eckhart Tolle.
The Three Non’s




1. What are they?

2. How could they be defined?

3. What do they mean?

4. How do they affect us?

5. How can we make use of their power?

1. The Three Non’s, are:



Non Attachment

Non Judgment

Non Resistance




2. How could they be defined?

Let’s look at each one by itself.

Non Attachment
The word Attachment could mean together, what we are going to talk about is Non Attachment. Which, would be, not having an attachment? In this case it is non-attachment to an outcome. Okay, what am I saying, is to NOT have an attachment to an Outcome, me / you / us, no longer have to be attached or concerned to the outcome of an issue or situation. This, my friends can be very freeing, from stress or internal agitation.

Non Judgment
The word Judgment could be to judge someone or something. Judgment also could place a meaning - right or wrong, good or bad. These are traps of the ego. Therefore it is comforting “not” making any judgments. When we can look at a person or a situation and by not making a judgment, we allow it to just be, as it is, nothing more nothing less. Our minds can play a judgment game, writing a sentence (passing judgment) for an action. Of course that scene plays out in our mind and we are in total control, and that is only of ourselves. Ah, yet we can never be in control of another person, so to judge them for an action is a fruitless action. Consider this thought, when another person feels that they are NOT being judged by another person they are more willing to share more of themselves. Judgment can be a result of fear, Winston Churchill once said “All we have to Fear is Fear itself.”

Non Resistance
Non Resistance, now this one invokes some different thinking. The word “Resistance,” could mean to resist someone or something. How do we resist, in some very basic ways, it could be not trying a different food. Saying NO to someone or something we are afraid of or afraid to try or a place to go. This could be because of a predisposed notion placed in our minds, placed there by a loved one, friend or we just made a decision. The mind is such a powerful organ. This could also be resistance to a person, for allot of different reasons. Now let’s look at this in a different light. ENERGY - Energy is always moving, it never stops, and it’s always in motion and can never be suppressed. Life also is always in motion, yes we are energy. Sometimes we look at it and say; sometimes life’s up and sometimes life’s down, yet it never stops. A friend of mine, Tony, would say life is like riding an elevator; sometimes your up and sometimes your down – the key to remember is that when the elevator is down don’t get off and setup housekeeping. She was right, life has its cycles. By the way she passed on that saying; it’s not a Tony original. Let’s say it was words of wisdom from an author unknown. When were up, were very up and when were down – no one wants to join us, at those deep and dark depths. So with saying all that, the energy of life is in constant motion, therefore let it flow through you, don’t resist. When a situation arises think; when “I” say NO, am I resisting> And what do I Gain or Lose by saying NO. Sometimes it might be a wonderful experience, and you would be the only person to know. If however you were to say ”Yes” and move forward and it didn’t workout to your liking, remember you are of Choice, so you can re-choose. “Being of Choice” is another subject for later. You’ll see a few of these comments from time to time and time will be discussed later. After all, what happens when we resist by not allowing the energy to flow through us, is we might suffer its negative effects. The only person that is really hurt when we resist is ourselves.


3. What do they mean?
Non Attachment
Allow me to explain by an example or two. Let say you give someone, a family member or someone close, some advice; either asked for or just given, “unsolicited.” Now there is something very important to keep in mind, when giving advice, the advice giver must never give advice in an attempt to manipulate the other person. There is an expression; “always come from LOVE”. “Coming from Love” is another subject for later. You’ll see a few of these comments from time to time and time will be discussed later. Okay, so you give this person the best advice that you know and you are “coming from LOVE”. Now they didn’t take and act on your advice. Here comes the rub, now your upset because they person didn’t act on this wonderful, insightful advice. How could they do that to ME? Do you realize that another person can not hurt you, only you can do that by taking on what you perceived as their feels toward you? Yet another trap of the ego. “Someone Hurt Me – Ha”, is another subject for later. You’ll see a few of these comments from time to time and time will be discussed later. First the advice might not have worked for them or it wasn’t the right time in their life to grasp / embrace this suggestion / information. It is also wise to remember that “when the student is ready the teacher will be there”. Perhaps it just wasn’t the right time for the student and they really couldn’t embrace this wise knowledge. Another point, when a lesson is to be taught and you are to be the teacher, you will be ready and prepared.
Let’s talk a little bit about the dynamic’s here. You are the giver and now you are upset, disturbed, you get my point, only you can best describe your feeling. You had an ATTACHMENT. Just for a moment think how differently you would feel it you just gave this wise insightful information and let it go. Now the receiving person can come to their own conclusion. Now you don’t feel any unrest, and the other person isn’t feeling any pressure.
Now let’s look at it differently and see how it would play out. Say, one of you children (older child – out of high school) asked for advice. First make sure you listen very closely to what is being said and ask for, looking for feeling in the request. Always take a few moments to consider the best answer. Ponder your answer don’t answer to quick, and always honest. Always keeping their, the receivers best interest at heart. We’ll get into the Heart later”, is another subject for later. You’ll see a few of these comments from time to time and time will be discussed later. Sometimes the best answer is to “just listen, ” Which is another subject for later. You’ll see a few of these comments from time to time and time will be discussed later. Okay you’ve listened, thought, considered your HONEST answer. Now it’s time to deliver that answer. You tell that person that this is your answer, from only your perspective. Perhaps your answer warrants some deeper explanation. If so, do some explaining, just remember to stay of track. Because your answer is for and about the other person, NOT YOU. Once this is done, now you LET GO, hence you have No-Attachment “NON-ATTACHMENT”. This doesn’t mean you should go around giving advice, or keep wise council from others, just be aware of their request or non-request. A person would be wise to know that unsolicited advice may be a request for NO advice. Monks and some people from parts of India, as well as that part of the world, believe that when a person honestly asks a question with an Open Heart and the listener have an answer it is their duty to give that information to them. “The Open Heart”, is another subject for later. You’ll see a few of these comments from time to time and time will be discussed later. They also believe that a person can not process anything forever and that the blessing is in the giving. Here again we see the Flow of Energy, it should not be concealed or kept.
How many times can we notice the difference in feeling when we give information “with” and “without” attachment? The difference is between those two states of being is peacefulness, and grace vs. the internal turmoil and unrest. Which would you like to choose?

Non Judgment
Lets start by looking at judgment. When one person judges another, there is the tendency to place oneself either above that person being judged or below them. Therefore we would like to aspire to a point of not passing any judgment, hence Non Judgment. Let’s look at some of the things that might happen when a person goes “to judgment.” If a person puts themselves above the other person there can be the point of view they are better than the other person, and that the other person isn’t trying hard enough or lacks the skills or lacks the desire to elevate themselves from one level to a higher lever. Like the one you may presume to at this point in time. Also then if they achieve a higher level, you could feel threatened. Now there is an example of the ego working in overtime. Either way, the results are not gratifying. One feels superior; the other is a lack or an emptiness. When we judge, we make a selection, which holds us back from our best potential. And a more Peaceful Life we desire and deserve. Now, because of our Awareness, we are aware of our personal judgments. What can we do next? Awareness is a very important KEY to Happiness and Peacefulness in Life.
Without awareness, we could be like “electric bummer cars” bumping around in a circus. Oh boy, now I’ve dated myself. It you don’t know what electric bumper cars are ask you parents of hopefully not grandparents. If you have to ask your grandparents, I’m really old. Enough of that.
Awareness is our ability to differentiate right from wrong, this can be intuitive. It can also be from lessons we learned from; family and lover ones, friends, colleagues, co-workers, any number of sources. Oh, yes, also from personal experiences.

Okay, now that we will say that we are all aware, we are aware of ourselves making judgments for a host of reasons. And with this awareness, we can choose not to make any judgment. Or stop and re-choose not to make a judgment. This would be an act of Non Judgment.

Like Attachments, (we discussed earlier), Judgments are personal ego traps. So now you realize you have a choice, release yourself and DON’T make / have any attachments of judgments. Thus, you might say, easy for you. Practice, practice, practice, the way to start in working on the “Non’s” is to choose something small and easy. Also another bit of information, the level of difficulty is to our choosing. Make it mildly difficult – or easy, or make it very difficult, it’s your choice. This really is a personal choice. And if the situation seems to difficult, choose something a little easier, as a first adventure.

Life’s a Journey with lessons, experiences and opportunities. How we choose to embrace them is our individual choice, therefore choose wisely. These are life’s options.

MORE TO COME